Fed up with my own fear
Fear also reaches some kind of threshold
After which something new begins
from She Speaks by Anastasia Afanasieva
In these lines, part of a collection of creative responses to the Russo-Ukrainian war, the poet expresses a deep frustration with her sense of dread. Rather than dwelling on it, she rejects it, stepping into the liminal space at the edge of fear, where she finds the promise of renaissance. Rebirth. The beginning of something new.
Through these lines, Afanasieva assures me that there is a place beyond fear that isn’t beyond hope.
Since the full-scale invasion of Ukraine by Russia in 2022, I have grappled with a sense of helplessness, leading me to seek out ways to celebrate Ukrainian culture and support advocacy efforts.
I have also turned to art that explores the effects of this war on the land and her human and other-than-human inhabitants. I ache for the Ukrainian people as well as for the innocent civilians of Russia and neighbouring Belarus whose lives have also been brutally and senselessly disrupted.
Countless wars since the turn of the twentieth century alone have resulted in the deaths of somewhere in the range of 200 million people, depending on what source you look at, but of course the number is probably much higher and likely doesn’t include the deaths related to PTSD and other mental health issues triggered by the trauma of war. And it most certainly does not consider the deaths of ecosystems and all our beleaguered planet's inhabitants.
Until recently, I have been personally unaffected by war. At least, I have never lived in a conflict zone, and neither has my immediate biological family. No one close to me has died in active combat. But today, war feels a little closer. The Globe & Mail reported last month that, improbable though experts say it is, an American-led invasion of Canada is not impossible, and the Canadian Armed Forces are preparing accordingly (Fife & Gavin, 2026, para. 1).
The Guardian also recently featured US–Canada relations in the wake of America’s attempts at ‘regional dominance’, reporting that the United States devised a plan to invade Canada in 1930, and that recent actions by the current US administration are ‘reviving old fears’ (Cecco, 2026).
Still, war on Canadian soil is hypothetical. And although I share the sense of insecurity many living in Canada feel, my reasons for steeping myself in art about war are unrelated. Instead, these works of art help me grapple with a violence that beggars all belief and understand what I can do in the face of it.
With that in mind, I turn to a focused reflection on art and war. But where to start? So much art is about war. To shape this post, I found it a compelling exercise to start with the works of art that sprung to mind unbidden, allowing them to shape my reflection. Here are just a few.
In Flanders Fields is a poem about sacrifice in the First World War by Canadian physician and soldier John McCrae. At least once upon a time, almost every school-aged child in Canada committed it to memory. I can never get past the short poem’s second stanza without my voice cracking with emotion:
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.
Being aligned with pacifist movements, I cannot, as the poem urges, take up the torch they throw from failing hands in any literal sense. I come by this anti-war stance honestly. My maternal grandfather was a conscientious objector during the Second World War and served by working in the Victory Gardens in Ottawa, which provided food for the war effort.
The poem also asks us to take up the soldiers’ quarrel with the foe. I am too old and probably too disabled to join the Armed Forces, and in any case I’m a pacifist, as I’ve already said.
So, what can I do? Well, I can remember—and to remember is to strive for peace.
I don’t know how to strive for peace. I don’t even know if peace is possible. But I must never give up trying to figure it out. And in the meantime, I can support, for example, persons displaced by war and others in need of humanitarian assistance.
My own tiny province has seen the recent arrival of over 2,200 Ukrainians and nearly 800 Afghans as well as hundreds of asylum seekers from around the world. I stand beside them as best I can as they face new foes, including xenophobia, cultural ignorance, and apathy. I also try to learn smatterings of languages so I can at least stammer out greetings in Ukrainian (pryveet), Russian (preevyet), Afghan Persian (salam alaikum), Arabic (marhaba), and so on.
Side note: having hit middle-age, I also promptly forget the words I learn, but Google Translate, along with its pronunciation option (flawed as it may be), is a gift from the tech gods at whose altar I worship from time to time.
***
The award-winning 20 Days in Mariupol is a not-for-the-faint-of-heart documentary film directed by Mstyslav Chernov and released in 2023. Drawing on personal footage, Chernov reveals in heart-breaking detail the atrocities recorded by Associated Press journalists trapped in Mariupol in the early days of the 2022 invasion of Ukraine. The film captures scenes that have come to define the war, including the bombing of a maternity hospital.
I am serious when I say I was sobbing—sobbing—as the film rolled. I had to press 'pause' on multiple occasions to compose myself as the resolutely sorrowful scenes unfolded. I couldn’t see the screen through my tears and in any case I was crying too hard to take it all in.
Why make this film? Why watch it? Why weep like this at this moment, in this film, when everywhere we are assaulted with images from this and other wars? Why am I not too desensitized to react?
The answer lies in the power of story. Chernov relates with raw honesty a dozen or more micro-stories of a city under siege. The human capacity to respond emotionally to the story of another human or other living thing is greater than our ability to react viscerally to the more abstract.
If you’re not so sure, consider this uplifting example: the 1993 hit film Free Willy, about a child who bonds with a captive killer whale in danger. Free Willy ignited a major animal rights movement focused on liberating marine mammals. As the story goes, Keiko—the whale playing Willy—became the first captive orca ever released into the open ocean. Keiko traveled over 1,500 kilometres across the Atlantic, feeding himself and splashing about rather merrily after twenty-some years of confinement.
This is an abstract concept (animal abuse) related in human, humane terms (Keiko the Killer Whale). It is a vague thing given flesh and a heartbeat. And it works miracles. Similarly, 20 Days in Mariupol is the abstract concept of war portrayed in deeply human terms. This is story.
And story is medicine. And sometimes medicine tastes awful. It might even make us feel worse before it makes us better. I came out of that story refined as if by fire. Scorched. Burned even. But still alive. And more determined than ever to love and to teach love. To resist hate.
When Chernov accepted the Academy Award for Best Documentary feature (the first Oscar for a Ukrainian film), he said:
I cannot change history. I cannot change the past. But we all together, you—some of the most talented people in the world—can make sure the history record is set straight and the truth will prevail and the people of Mariupol and those who have lost their lives will never be forgotten.
***
One more. The 1956 stage adaptation of The Diary of Anne Frank, based on the book of the same name by the teenager who died at Bergen-Belsen Concentration Camp in 1945. Frances Goodrich and Albert Hackett’s play dramatizes her time in hiding.
In the final scene, Anne’s father, who has been reading her now-famous diary aloud throughout the play, finds he can read no further. Not because the pain is too great, though it is. His eye falls on a sentence: In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart, and he speaks aloud as he closes the diary: 'She puts me to shame'. Mr. Frank is ashamed of his bitterness and pessimism in the face of her courage. Her optimism. Her belief in the goodness of humankind.
Of course, we understand why he feels as he does. We, too, are outraged for him. The man lived through the horrors of the Second World War only to lose his entire immediate family to the Holocaust. We wouldn’t even ask him to try to see things differently.
I saw this play two or three times in the late 1990s, and it has never left me. Why? Because it gently reminded me then, and persists in reminding me now, about how bitter I can be. How skeptical. How enraged—and I have lived through nothing even remotely close to the Holocaust.
Sure, people have hurt me. Badly. We don’t need to live in Nazi Germany to have had our faith in humanity eroded. Who hasn’t faced bullying, endured racist or queer/transphobic taunts, been fat-shamed, suffered assault, been mocked, or been made to feel small, invisible, or otherwise unworthy?
But, if Anne Frank can believe people are really good at heart, then surely I can strive to do the same. And do. En masse, we seem to be a terrible animal—but spend enough time with any of us individually and you almost always find something to like. To be inspired by. To believe in.
***
To close, I return to She Speaks, with which I began: ‘something new begins’, she says. The poet takes up this point again in the poem’s final lines:
Life beyond fear
Fearlessness on the verge of death.
After fear, something new begins. How do artists in the thick of war feel hope? How do they feel the beginning of something new? I don’t know the answer. I hope I never have to experience a war to find out. But, like Anne Frank, Anastasia Afanasieva is optimistic and determined. She hasn’t given up. She awaits life after fear.
In the middle of fear—and this I know intimately—we often feel there is no escape. The burning building we are in, figuratively speaking, has no obvious exits. The curtain of smoke is too thick. The wall of heat is too dense. But wait! There is one small window, and emergency responders are below, dousing the flames. One firefighter is ascending a ladder. We are not alone. All we have to do is summon the courage to lean out the window and begin our descent.
Life waits for us on the other side of the threshold.
Bibliography
Afanasieva, A. (2015). She Speaks (Transl. O. Livshin & A. Janco). Words for War. Retrieved Feb. 10, 2026, from https://www.wordsforwar.com/she-speaks
Cecco, L. (2026, Jan. 27). The US drew up a plan to invade Canada in 1930. Now Trump is reviving old fears. The Guardian (Online). Retrieved Feb. 10, 2026, from https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/jan/27/trump-canada-us-war-plan
Fife, R., & Gavin, J. (2026, Jan. 20). Military models Canadian response to hypothetical American invasion. The Globe and Mail (Online). Retrieved Feb. 10, 2026, from http://search.proquest.com.libproxy.mta.ca/blogs-podcasts-websites/military-models-canadian-response-hypothetical/docview/3294922317/se-2
Goodrich, F., & Hackett, A. (1956). The Diary of Anne Frank. Dramatists Play Service Inc.
McRae, J. In Flanders Fields. The Poetry Foundation. Retrieved Feb. 11, 2026, from https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47380/in-flanders-fields